I wanted to wait until Christmas day to tell my husband, but I couldn't hold it and neither could Keyahria.  So I told Antonio about two weeks later that he was going to be a new daddy.  He replied, "That's my boy!".  We went to my initial doctor's visit on December 21 to confirm the pregnancy and received congratulations from my doctor with an expected due date for August 8, 2006.  I woke up on January 3 and noticed some bleeding.  I was a little nervous, but I prayed and asked God to let everything be alright and that I was not losing the baby.  I called the doctor's office and went in to be checked as soon as they opened.  I was told that everything was find and that happens sometimes when the placenta is implanting into the cervix.  I thanked God and left.  I had an ultrasound at 18 weeks that confirmed we were indeed having a son.  Antonio was about to burst with excitement!!  He was finally going to have a son, the little basketball or football player he had always dreamed about.  After the ultrasound, the mid-wife told us that I had a complete placenta previa.  She told me there was nothing to worry about because most of the time the placenta shifts upward as the pregnancy progresses, and if not I would just have to deliver by c-section.  She told me that I would have another ultrasound at 32 weeks to check placental location.  I went home and read about placenta previa in my "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book and felt ok.  I had a second ultrasound at 34 weeks and was told that the placenta previa had "resolved itself" and I was ok to proceed normally and have a vaginal delivery.  By this time am I going to the doctor weekly and becoming more and more excited as time is drawing near and our son would soon be here. 

It was hot and I was very swollen and commuting to work about 35 miles away from where I live.  I went in for my weekly prenatal visit on Thursday, July 27 and was 38.5 weeks pregnant.  I hoped I had dilated at least a couple of centimeters.  I was so large that my family teased that I would not make it until August.  The midwife did an internal exam and told me nothing was going on.  She suggested that I take something to help soften the cervix and gave me instructions on what to do.  I went to work on Friday and told the staff I had not dilated any and would see them on Monday.  That Saturday, I told Antonio that our son Khalil would be here soon.  I just felt it, I knew he was coming.  So we headed out early to get our daughter's school shopping out of the way.  We shopped all day long.  I was so tired when we got home, but something told me to go ahead and pack my bag and the baby's diaper bag.  Antonio and I picked out an outfit for Khalil to take his first picture in and an outfit to wear home.  I packed his little  brush, socks, and lotion.  I smiled as I looked around at the beautiful nursery we had prepared for his arrival with murals I had drawn and painted of safari animals.  My husband baked chocolate chip cookies and Khalil had my stomach jumping as he enjoyed the cookies too!!  I finally went to bed around 1:00 am and Khalil was still kicking.  I asked him to calm down so mommie could get some sleep. 

A little while later, I woke up to something running down my legs.  I immediately shook Antonio and said honey it's time, get up and call the doctor.  I had this overwhelming feeling of happiness and joy and it was finally time to bring this precious baby into the world.  I rolled over and looked at the clock.  It was 3:10am on Sunday morning July 30, 2006.  I got up to go to the bathroom and as soon as I took two steps into the bathroom, blood starting pouring down my legs like a faucet of running water.  I called to Antonio and told him to call 911.  I was losing a lot of blood fast; however, at this time I figured I was bleeding and at 38 weeks the baby was fine.  I was taken to the hospital by ambulance. 

The doctor came in to do an ultrasound and find the source of the bleeding.  He told me it was difficult to see because there was no fluid around my son and he didn't detect a heartbeat.  I asked for an emergency c-section.  He said he needed to check a few other things first.  I stayed calm and just began to pray and ask God to let everything be ok.  The doctor came back in and said that pathology had confirmed that the blood loss was fetal blood, my son had no heartbeat, and I would have to go on and proceed as usual with labor and deliver a dead baby.   He told me about  a rare condition called vasa previa.  My husband grabbed me as the tears began to roll down my face; I just could not believe this was happening.  I just continued to pray for God to perform a miracle and save my son. 

At 12:22 pm, Sunday July 30, 2006, I delivered the most beautiful baby boy I have ever seen.  The doctor placed him on my chest and I just could not believe he was gone.  My six year old finally got to see the baby brother she had longed for the past 9 months.  He wasn't moving or crying.  She asked the doctor to do something to make her brother live.  She pulled on his coat and asked three times before he answered, telling her there was nothing he could do, as he fought back tears. She then looked at me and said "Mommie just breathe the breath of life into him like God breathed into Adam."  I just cried and said baby I can't.  She then asked if she could lay her head on his chest and see if he was breathing.  She laid her head on her little brother's chest for a while, and then looked up at us and said, "Mommie, this is just Khalil's body.  His spirit has gone to be with Jesus.  Khalil told me to tell you and daddy not to worry about him.  He's in heaven watching over us and everything is going to be alright."  Everyone in that room, nurses and all, just cried.  Except Keyahria.  She just continued to look upward and smile as if she was watching her brother ascend into heaven.
 

Khalil Londell Leach would have been 8 weeks old this past Sunday.  We love and miss him so much.  I thank the hospital for allowing us to spend the most precious 48 hours with our son, to hold, rock, kiss, and sing to him.  It hurt deeply to have to plan our son's funeral before even having the opportunity to plan his first birthday party.  The emptiness of leaving the hospital with a box of memories instead of our son pierced like a knife through our hearts.  I am disgusted that this condition robs the lives of innocent babies and families and that more is not done to diagnose and prevent this tragedy from happening.  We came home to a beautiful nursery, a closet full of baby clothes, cabinet full of bottles, and no baby.  This heartache feels unbearable.  I pray that physicians aggressively look for this condition and that no more families will have to experience this devastating  and undeserved loss.